Letter to Self

You spent the last month traveling, living the life of your dreams, but somehow, you still feel like the helpless six-year-old who knew nothing about her new world.

Let me be the first to tell you that you are no longer 6. The foundation set by Caro, Carlos, your family, culture, education, and friends has gotten you this far. Awesome! Let’s celebrate that. A little girl in you is incredibly proud of what you’ve accomplished.

1. You made a life for yourself in a foreign country. 
2. You chose an amazing life partner.
3. You did the incredible emotional work of breaking cycles.
4. You went to college as a first-generation immigrant! 
5. You got an MBA
6. You’re one language away from being a polyglot. 
7. You taught yourself how to drive a stick shift.

Now, if you can honestly tell me that you’re okay with where you’re at in life, then I can support you. 

However, even as you type this, you are aware of the fire burning in you. No doubt, you’re unsure of what exactly you want to do. However, there’s a deep yearning for more—sure, for yourself, but also to contribute and give back to the world for all the amazing opportunities, experiences, and people that have gotten you this far. 

So yes, your new life will cost you your old one. Loss doesn’t have to be negative, though. In the same way that it hurt to lose your dad, it was also a privilege because you got to experience his unconditional love. Mourn that you are no longer six years old, mourn that piñatas and family gatherings are not part of your day-to-day existence, mourn that your mom doesn’t remember who you are, mourn the girl who used emotional eating to feel less lonely, mourn the fact that you may lose family or friends along the way, mourn the fact that you’ve lived there for so long. After that, take the time to be grateful that it got you this far. 

When you feel like the loss means leaving people behind, remind yourself that you are walking for the first time on a path your ancestors may have never even imagined. It will feel shaky, uncertain, and scary. You are not alone; you have their strength, support, and love.